Dear Santa,

You don't exist and I hate your holiday. But since you seem to show up here every year and grant wishes, here's mine: kill everyone on this boat. ["Except Vince and Adam" is scrawled in after the fact.]

No love,
Elle


Happy, Admiral? I wrote your stupid Christmas letter!


[private to Howie, after much hesitation]

I'm not alright.

[private to Peter]

I read the stuff my dad said to you. He left me a note that said kind of the same things, but remember how you used to say it was worth it? I think it's worth it. For me, at least. I guess I'd rather be happy than safe and miserable.

I... think my dad was wrong.

You wanna go up on deck and make a snowman?


( Santa letter )

[filtered to the Admiral]

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I want a puppy named Izzy. It's not for me, so don't worry.

And I want all of my ability back, but if you can't manage all of it, I'd like 1500 volts and 10 amps.

- Elle

[/filter]


Santa isn't real. Why am I writing to him?


[private to Peter]

Is it really your birthday?

[/private]

Why is

There's

Mistletoe is the stuff with, like... berries, right? Who the hell hung this over my door?


[private to Peter, added after Cameron's explanation of mistletoe]

Get over here, there's mistletoe.

[/private]