cautionarytale | 123 [voice]

Entry tags:

123 [voice]

Listen up, barge. I'm not your flashlight, your floor lamp, your wall socket, your lighter, your popcorn maker, your extension chord, your vacuum, your defibrillator, your radiator, and I'm sure as hell not your maid. Sure, my abilities are great, but their purpose isn't to do chores for you.

So let's all get clear on that, move on, and pretend last week didn't happen.

[private to Howie]

I need to talk to you.

[private to Peter EVEN THOUGH HE'S IN A COMA LOLOL]

Wake up! I hate you!

[ooc: I have no idea what Elle did during the blackout. But pretend it was distressingly useful :c]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In person? I'll come down if you want.

Sure. Whatever.

[Howie's there about... five minutes later, knocking on Elle's door. He looks somewhere between tired, guilty and confused.]

[Elle opens up and then perches on the edge of the desk and waits for him to close the door.]

[He closes the door behind him, then looks down at his hands for a moment, a little awkwardly, then asks,] "What did you want to talk about?"

[Elle bites her lip and narrows her eyes at him.] "Have you ever thought of doing something different with your hair?"

[He paused, not quite sure where that came from,] "Not really. That's not really why I'm here, right?"

[There was a subconscious moment where he rubbed the back of his head anyway.]

[Elle sighed.] "No. I... What if he doesn't wake up?" [That wasn't what she wanted to talk about. At all. But she needed to work her way up to it.]

[He suspected that wasn't the whole story, but would work with what he'd got. She'd asked to talk to him, after all, not the other way around.]

"I don't know. He will... people do, usually. But... if he doesn't, we'll find a way to deal with it, I'll help, I promise. But I'm not sure I can give you a definite answer to that."

[He really wished he could.]

[Elle nodded, and took a deep breath.] "I'm not a hero," [she said slowly.] "I don't think I can be one, and I don't want to, especially not if it involves a whole lotta being a human battery-recharger."

[She braced her hands palms-down on the desk and slid further back, crossing her ankles and rocking her legs.] "But I'm not a villain, either. I'm like this weird in-between thing and..." [She swung her legs forward and looked down at her shoes.] "I still really don't wanna be here. That's never changed."

[Howie nods, because he suspected this was the issue, and he considers what she's said,]

"I don't want to turn you into a hero, or... a human battery recharger, either, Elle." [He was still a little iffy over whether he should have done that at all, but that was a different matter,]

"I... There's not much wrong with being a weird in-between thing. Most people are. I'm sorry if I made you think that I was demanding heroism, or you to be whiter than white. Because nobody is." [He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, then looked up at her,] "It's more... the decisions you make than being a hero or a villain, I think."

"I decided to help out 'cause I wanted you to be proud of me." [She knew doing things to make her father proud of her had gotten her stuck in the villain column, but doing good things for a similar reason wasn't enough to make her a real goodguy.] "That's not enough, I get it, but it's all I can manage. I'm not fixable, and I don't wanna be in this stupid place for the rest of forever."

"I know. But I still... I still wonder if it was fair of me to do that."

[He ran his hand down his face for a moment in thought, not sure what to say to her at that admission, but eventually, he asks,] "Why... what makes you think that's all you can manage?"

"Because I don't care!" [she insisted.] "I don't care about people I don't know! I see a stranger in the hallway and I have basically the same feeling I would if I was looking at a wall. Peter cares about everybody, and he's always going out of his way to help everyone just because it's right, but I'm not like him. I can't feel the things I'm supposed to feel, and if I can't care about people, how am I supposed to choose to help them just because it's right?"

Edited 2010-11-22 07:08 (UTC)

[He listened for a moment and... well, she had a good point.] "You do care about me and Peter, though. And you've said before it's because we're nice to you. So... I'm interested. What does someone have to do to have you care about them?"

"I don't... I don't really know what you did. When bad things happen to you, I feel bad, that's all. I dunno why."

private - guess who feels soooooo guilty.

private -

and you get spammed.

wheee spam :D

my favourite type of spam!

Re: my favourite type of spam!

spam!

Re: spam!

Re: spam!

Re: spam!

Re: spam!

Re: spam!

Re: spam!

Re: spam!

Re: spam!

Re: spam!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject