cautionarytale | 098 - probably backdated a little bit

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098 - probably backdated a little bit

Totally aside from the fact that mine smells like mangoes and Peter's smells like foam, is there any difference between guys' shaving cream and girls' shaving cream? I'm pretty sure I look better minus the stubble.

[private to Howie]

I wanna talk.

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[Howie was fairly sure in that moment, he was going to get punched, especially when she stood up. He's not sure he would have blamed her. He did push himself back from her defensively, but was a little relieved it came to nothing, but resolved to remember that she was a man and a fist in the face was much more likely.] "I don't know. You're allowed to be angry, or upset, at him. Nobody's going to say you're not. But you've got to find the people who do care about you and treat you like they do and place value in them, in that. It... I am sorry."

[Elle glanced at Howie, noticing he'd drawn back from her. That made her feel better, in a way. More in control.

She stood up again and crossed her arms.] "You think if I got better at my job he'd..." [Well, no, he was dead of course. If he'd never loved her before, there was no way he'd ever be able to love her now. That just made her miserable, so she kicked the coffee table over, which hurt her foot.

She shot Howie a glare, daring him to laugh as she hopped in place on one foot.]

[Howie stood up, and was relatively glad she'd come to that kind of realisation herself, and didn't laugh at her. The situation wasn't funny, even if she'd just demonstrated a brilliant bit of slapstick.] "You alright? That's not really going to solve anything, you know, kicking things." [He put the table back where it should be, but looked up at her the whole time,] "It's only going to end like that."

"It made me feel better," [she snapped, putting her foot down and trying her best not to wince. She crossed her arms defensively.] "What's wrong with me?" [She knew the answer to that question - in fact, she had a very long list in answer to that question. But she'd grown up believing that Daddy was always right, and if he couldn't love her it had to be her own fault.]

[Howie, in a different context, had another list in answer to that question, but he knew that wasn't why she was asking.] "I think it'd be better to ask what's wrong with him, if I'm honest. It's not your fault, Elle. It really isn't. You're supposed to love your kids unconditionally, like God loves us." [He didn't exactly mean to go there, but it was still a strong force of habit.]

[Elle ignored the religious comment. In fact, she opted to ignore everything he'd said. She'd had plenty for one day.] "Okay, I talked. When do I get my ability back?"

[Howie frowned a little,] You can't cut off like that, you know. Look, you can have some more if you go do some work in the kitchen or the library. The kitchen. I don't really care if you don't know what you're doing, most people don't. Get out there and meet people and do something constructive. Do that and then I think it's even. [He had said talking was a good place to start, and meant it. Not to mention, he was fairly sure she needed a sense of purpose outside Peter.]

"You said if I talked I'd get my ability back! You didn't say anything about the kitchen!" [Elle sulked. She hated the stupid kitchen.]

"I said it'd be a start. Sometimes you have to do work to get what you want."

"So lemme do real work, not scrubbing gross pots."

"By which you mean, exactly?"

[Elle rolled her eyes at him.] "You know, something I'm good at and don't hate."

"Which means your choices are</i?" [A thought struck him for a minute, as he thought of her long list of people and their worlds] "How about... Aziraphale's trying to find out which books are from whose world. Help him with that; you tend to make more thorough notes than <i>I</i> do." [He didn't think she'd be interested for one moment in the books, but he thought she might be interested in finding that sort of thing out about people. It was relatively harmless and open information to arm her with, too.]

"Books?" [Elle echoed dismally. Well, at least the books couldn't be caked in anything crusty or gooey.] "Okay, fine. And then I get my ability back."

"Some more of it, yes." [He wasn't going to give it her all back until he was far more sure he'd managed to establish a real moral code in her and not one she just gave back to him. Caution was his thing.] "A significant amount more, but not all of it."

"Fine," [Elle grumbled. 'A significant amount more' sounded like a step in the right direction, at least.]

"Thank you, and thank you for talking to me and trusting me. It's... appreciated." [He thought, especially this time, he ought to, if only because this wasn't an easy conversation at all, and he knew it.] "Anything else, before I go?"

"No."

[Howie nodded, as at least she was to the point.] "Alright. I'll see you." [He went to leave, relatively satisfied that wasn't as bad as it could have been.]

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098 - probably backdated a little bit

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Spam it is! - bwahaha. I'm laughing, elle.

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